Jerry Astrology

Recently, I have been through an emotional roller coaster. I am not sure I am out of it yet, but I did try to learn what I can about emotions as a means to grapple with it.

I have recorded some of my learnings and thoughts below. Hopefully they may be of use to you as they are to me.

Emotional Intensity

I think emotions can be looked at from two angles. Firstly, the type of emotion, for example, happiness, sadness, anger, frustration. These are all types of emotions. Secondly, the intensity of the emotion. For example, seeing an adorable cat on our way to work may bring a sense of joy in our heart, which in turn puts a smile on our face. However, if we are at the airport and finally saw our partner coming back from a month-long work trip, the happiness we feel may be so intense that it compels us to run forth and give our partner a big hug. Although it is the same type of emotion, the difference in intensities lead us to take different actions.

Emotional Thresholds

We all have different emotional thresholds. When the intensity of an emotion that we experiencing is below our threshold, we are able to maintain awareness and notice what we are experiencing. This awareness also allows us to choose how we wish to respond. However, if the emotional intensity is beyond our threshold, then we get taken over by the emotion and may do or say something that doesn’t serve us well in the long run or that we would regret later.

We can also imagine these emotional thresholds to be the banks of a river, and the intensity of our emotion to be the height of the river. When the height of the river is higher than its banks, it overflows and floods the surrounding areas.

What does it mean to have a high/low emotional threshold?

Given the same critical comment, a person with high emotional threshold can easily take it in his stride while a person with low emotional threshold is more likely to respond with sharp retort or perhaps this comment will be stuck in his head for the rest of the day, preventing him from being present to what’s happening. In short, he has been taken over by his emotion.

It is worth noting that the height of our emotional river isn’t just decided by a single emotion that we are experiencing, but is the cumulation of emotions over a period of time. The emotional experience that tipped us over is merely the proverbial “last straw that broke the camel’s back”. 

Therefore, no matter how high your emotional threshold is, it is necessary for us all to regularly process our emotions, so that we can reduce the height of our emotional river and prevent a flood.

Regulating our emotions

Emotions are just like our metaphorical river, it needs to flow. And for it to flow, we must experience the emotions, however uncomfortable. Only then will the energy of the emotions dissipate and flow away from us.

If we resist experiencing an emotion, or perhaps even choose to hold on to the emotion, then we are actually allowing this emotion to take us hostage and drive our actions, rather than us choosing how we wish to act. 

To further support us in regulating our emotions, we can turn to family and friends to vent our frustrations. We can also write our experiences and emotions in a journal, which in turn helps us reflect and identify how we can better respond the next time we are in a similar situation. Sometimes, it may be as simple as sitting by ourselves in a quiet place and just be.

When we do this regularly and keep the height of our emotional river low, it gives us much more emotional capacity to deal with challenging experiences with awareness and mindfulness, which in turn allows us to better navigate these experiences and make something out of it. It also means it takes a lot more before we get overwhelmed and break down.

Emotions are what makes life colourful

I used to think emotions are to be avoided, as I wasn’t very comfortable with them. Now, being older and having my fair share of life experiences, I think emotions are what makes life colourful.

It is sadness and grief that makes us appreciate the smallest thing that brings us joy and happiness. It is anger and fear that helps us appreciate peace and calmness, however boring it used to seem.

Emotions are an inevitable part of life. And I think the sooner we learn how to regulate our emotions and stay within our emotional threshold, the better we are able to appreciate the colours that emotions bring to our lives.

Om brim brihaspataye namah

🙏